This season of the Netflix Original; F is for Family, was darker and more bleak than it’s first season. Among the many problems and hardships the Murphy’s experienced this year, was the oldest of the Murphy children, 14 year old Kevin, dealing with statutory rape. An often overlooked form of sexual abuse, but no less devastating to it’s victims both male and female. If we’re going to analyze this particular character arc, I think it makes sense to start with the episode where the incident actually takes place; that being the aptly titled This is Not Good.
Now, as I’ve mentioned in other posts, this show really explored the affects of this event on Kevin, and through simple storytelling they actually manage to paint a pretty clear picture of exactly why Kevin was incapable of giving consent, as well as the affects this has on him. Furthermore, at no point do they attempt to justify Cutie Pie’s actions, or absolve her of responsibility. It wasn’t until I watched through several episodes again however that I realized how in depth they actually went into the psychology behind this and so I will now take you through exactly what I mean. I researched and cross referenced multiple studies and papers on statutory rape and sexual abuse of boys by women. Every detail presented in this storyline was true to life. It’s kind of amazing.
The episode starts with Kevin anticipating his date with a girl his age, who he hopes to lose his virginity to. While waiting for the time to pass in his room, he decides to use his time by masturbating. Due to his lack of access to sexual material, he is forced to jerk off to anything from a comic book heroine, to a reproductive diagram. The joke is obvious, though the importance of the inclusion of this scene didn’t occur to me until I was reading an outraged blogger harp on about the two seconds of animation where he masturbates to a Virgin Mary candle. When she said “…I get it, the joke is that teenage boys are turned on by just about anything…” It dawned on me why this scene is here at all (besides comedic value). It’s actually meant to set up this very concept. Fourteen year old boys are turned on by just about anything. That’s the very nature of puberty, and an early step in their sexual development. These overactive hormones are precisely what makes boys this age so easy to manipulate, and is often cited by psychologists and childhood development specialist as a big reason we have the age of consent laws we do at all.
So if Kevin’s body responds to such mild stimuli as a sexy comic book heroine, or a female butter mascot, is that not a direct setup for Cutie Pie using his erection as an invitation to go for it?
I’m getting ahead of myself though. There’s another very important element to this episode I overlooked the first time I watched it. Or maybe not overlooked, but didn’t think too hard on. So, Kevin alone in his bedroom as we’ve seen, pretty horny. When he’s actually with his date though, he’s totally overwhelmed. Her simply touching his shoulders and blowing on his neck is so overstimulating, he ejaculates in his pants. This overwhelming state of arousal is so overpowering, he is not even fully aware of his own surroundings, but rather entirely engrossed in the feeling and the stimulation of that feeling. This phenomenon was described countless times by both professionals and survivors across the research I did on statutory rape, particularly that of young boys offended against by women.
This concept is illustrated through the use of these fantasy sequences;
(important to note is the use of this imagery. Seeing the sequence play out over his eyes like this.)
Kevin isn’t really present during these sequences. It is similar to disassociation, though it isn’t exactly the same thing. All he is aware of is the feeling in his body, his surroundings become a blur, which is why he ends up accidentally chipping her tooth. He isn’t aware of where she is in relation to him, or even that his body is spasming. This is really important for what happens later on with Cutie Pie, and I will explain why.
So as I’ve already discussed on my tumblr, Kevin was unable to properly evaluate the consequences of having sex with this woman in the moment. All he knows right then is that it feels good physically. He is totally unaware of anything else.
So, Cutie Pie see’s Kevin outside having been locked out and is rather irritated that she is obligated to let him inside her place so he doesn’t freeze. Like, she is really not happy that she has to do this. That is until she see’s an oppurtunity. Standing in the cold wind, her nipples get hard through her thin bathrobe, which causes Kevin to get an erection. He is actually quite distressed by this, stating; “There it is again…! Stupid thing won’t go away!” Cutie Pie, being bored and feeling neglected by her boyfriend, takes full advantage of this.
We see this same glazed over look in his eyes. The next episode even directly opens on the fantasy, before pulling out of his eye. Just like before, Kevin’s only aware of this physical stimulation.
You can actually see in this scene how he slowly comes back into reality, only now realizing how attractive the person he just had sex with is. He’s amazed, and actually a little surprised it even happened.
Now, before we continue on into the next section, the events that take place after the incident, I want to note something. Kevin did enjoy the physical sensation of having sex. This is really important for everything that happens next. When we think of sexual abuse or exploitation, we often have a certain image in our minds. And this image is most definitely pushed in the media. Someone struggling, being physically forced, saying no, being unsure or uncomfortable, changing their mind during the act. Sexual abuse and sexual assault are two different things however, and child victims often enjoy the physical sensations that come with abuse, and even the attention they receive from their abusers.
Kevin was the perfect victim for this particular type of abuse. He had just got to the stage where his hormones were going crazy. He’s an emotional person, he doesn’t operate on logic. Whatever he feels is what is true for him in the moment. He’s also emotionally needy. He needs constant praise and affection, but rarely receives it. He had also been particularly neglected by his parents the past few months, and had just been deeply humiliated by a peer he had wanted to impress. Cutie Pie couldn’t have stumbled across an easier target.
Cutie Pie regrets this dumb decision almost immediately, and is now in a position where she must protect her reputation. She intentionally includes Kevin in her guilt; “We made a mistake…” “We shouldn’t have done this…” This works almost instantly, getting Kevin worried. He points out that she was the one who started it, which she immediately throws in his face saying accusingly; “Why did you have a boner!?” as if this were some sort of invitation, or intentional attempt at seduction. (Keep in mind Kevin’s words from that scene too.) Kevin, very distressed now, gives her the totally reasonable and logical answer of; “Because I could see your boobs! What was I supposed to do!?” but she is intentionally trying to make Kevin feel guilty for his actions so that he will keep the incident a secret, especially from her boyfriend. She starts pointing fingers at him, going quickly from shame at her own actions, to rage directed at him. She pushes him out the door telling him “If Vic finds us here, he’ll go crazy!”
Throughout the rest of the season, we are shown the affects that this statutory rape incident, as well as Cutie Pie’s emotional manipulation and abuse, have on Kevin directly.
Kevin, unable to get support in his music from his father, turned to his neighbour, Vic. Vic was supportive, encouraging, kind and helpful towards Kevin, which he greatly appreciated. Now however, Kevin is convinced he has betrayed his friend. His guilt completely consumes him, soon turning to pure self loathing. He see’s himself as a lowly, entirely irredeemable person. As we’ve discussed above, he was unable to foresee this consequence. He was incapable of making this decision, and never should have been put into the position of making it. These feelings are not at all uncommon for statutory rape survivors, who often blame themselves for what happened. Especially if they enjoyed it physically.
Kevin’s self hatred becomes extremely overbearing for him. He can hardly even function in everyday life.
Take this scene.
Vic tells Kevin how proud he is of him. How much he admires him. How he’s honest and pure. Each word stinging Kevin at his very core. Both, because Vic is such a good friend to him and Kevin did something to him he see’s as unforgivable, and because in his mind, none of Vic’s words are true because of this.
Kevin breaks down in tears as soon as he leaves, telling himself “I have to kill myself.” Not because he wants to alleviate his pain, but because he believes he fucked up so badly, that he is such a horrible, rotten human being, that killing himself would be the only thing that he could do to make things better. That death is what he deserves for what he’s done.
Many boys who go through this wind up feeling ashamed of their own sexualities, which is what happens to Kevin. As we can see with the way he talks to his dick after being kicked out, he is placing the blame onto his penis. He is blaming his sexual desires, acknowledging his brain played no part in this decision. He see’s himself as a “whore”, but not because he feels used, because he feels responsible. He uses the term “whore” in the sense that he was sexually excited, unable to control that or stop himself from seeking sexual satisfaction. He can’t possibly understand the way in which Cutie Pie used that against him, overriding his critical thinking with physical stimulation.
I’ve seen people misread this, like she was giving Kevin something. She gave Kevin the privilege of losing his virginity to her after having blown his shot. This is not the case. She was neglected, bored, she was cheating routinely. She wanted sex. She saw an oppurtunity, and she took it. She did not give Kevin anything. She took something from him. What she took from him, was his ability to make a critical decision. When Kevin can actually think, he is very responsible sexually for a boy his age. He wanted to use a condom. Not only that, he was excited about using one. He masturbates by himself, in private, in his own bedroom. He wanted to be with someone his own age, who was developmentally equal to him. The thought of being with someone so much older had never even crossed his mind. In an overly stimulated state, he couldn’t think rationally. He was hardly aware of what was even happening.
This concept is exactly what Vic is trying to explain to Kevin at the end of the season.
After the disastrous events at Cutie Pie’s birthday, where a guilt ridden Kevin confessed to what had happened, and a coked up Vic snapped and shot up his house, Kevin is hiding in his room and Vic comes down to have a talk with him.
Kevin thinks Vic surely wants to kill him, and in a tearful panic he tries to explain in his own words what happened; “It was the first time, alright!? I was excited! Haircut girl was real! I came in my pants, twice! And I didn’t have a shirt, and her boobs were sticking out, I don’t know…!” he whales, beginning to sob uncontrollably. He can’t even really recall what happened, even when trying his hardest. Watching this scene again, it’s actually heartbreaking.
Vic responds; “Hey, hey, hey little man. Take it easy. It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not?” Kevin, for the very first time, considers this possibility. It confuses him, and he doesn’t understand what Vic means. After all, he was convinced quite effectively of his total responsibility. Vic sighs, wanting to make Kevin understand. He recounts to Kevin a story from his own life;
“You know, when I was your age my mom had this friend, Mrs. Anderson. She was hotter than a car seat in August…. One night, she came over looking for my mom but my mom wasn’t home. Well, one thing lead to another and I ended up getting my first hand job from a toll booth lady at the Pennsylvania turnpike.”
“…That doesn’t make any sense….”
“Once your dick gets hard the story never makes sense.”
What Vic is describing here is exactly what Kevin experienced. The mind shutting down, not being present because your body is being overstimulated.
I absolutely adore this scene, for a number of reasons. It’s very touching, and the reason for that is because it feels very real. Vic doesn’t want Kevin to feel all this unnecessary guilt and self hatred. He tells him it isn’t his fault, and does his best to explain why that is. Vic isn’t a particularly well spoken guy though, and so he can’t really put it all that eloquently. He doesn’t state facts at Kevin as to why he wasn’t at fault . He’s speaking from personal experience, about something he can’t even really put into words himself. It comes off as so genuine. It’s a beautifully written scene.
All this makes it so much more effective, and gives it an emotional punch it wouldn’t otherwise have. I hate to use this as an example because it’s such a common target, but just imagine if Family Guy did this plot. How would they have done this scene. There would have been one of those slow zoom ins on Brian or something, with some sappy music playing, while he goes “What happened to you was wrong because of this reason and this reason and this reason.” Would that feel like it was coming from the character, or from a writer?
Vic doesn’t act as a mouthpiece in this scene. He isn’t up on a soapbox delivering this message. He is speaking in his own words, trying to put his own thoughts into words, because he doesn’t want this little boy who is his friend to suffer any longer. The writer didn’t need to give a big speech about why statutory rape was wrong, because the show demonstrated it over the course of several episodes. Many writers forget the “show don’t tell” idea when it comes to “political discussion” or “really serious issues, you guys!”, but look at the amazing art you can produce when you are actually telling a story using the social issue you want to discuss.
Furthermore, Vic even coming to this conclusion and being able to tell Kevin “it’s not your fault,” is important, and could only come from someone who experienced it. This was 1974, studies like the ones I used to analyze this didn’t even exist. Statutory rape was not considered very important, especially when it came to male victims and female perps. In fact, child sexual abuse was only designated a crime under United States federal law in 1973! If you recall I reviewed a movie from ‘77 on this blog, intended as an after school special on underage male prostitutes. The big mouth-piece ending speech was about the 15 year old boy in that movie taking responsibility for his actions! Him being a victim isn’t even a possibility.
This was also the era of free love, a set of beliefs that brought with it a lot of negative ideas about consent. Boys in Kevin’s position were often considered lucky. (many people still feel this way.) Kevin very well may have never heard the words “It’s not your fault.” That to me makes this scene really wonderful, and Vic and Kevin’s friendship wonderful in general.
Especially since Vic’s own relationship with his abuse is complicated. Although he understands why he was in no position to consent, he doesn’t seem to necessarily see it as a negative experience, and would later go through something similar in high school with Sue’s boss; Vivian. But, he can remove his own feelings and realize that Kevin in no way benefited from what happened. Instead of thinking “well, it happened to me and i’m fine”. It probably also has a lot to do with being a kid vs seeing it happen to a kid as an adult. (I also have my own theories about Vic’s abuse leading to hyper sexuality, but that’s another post.) But would you believe Vic’s response is still not the common response today?
Because of this discussion, Kevin no longer hates himself, and actually smiles for the first time in several episodes.
So, yeah, I don’t really know how to finish this off, but all I can say is I’m floored with how well written this whole plot was. Like, still in shock. It seems like the writers either really knew what they were talking about, or some big coincidences. It all feels intentional to me though, just a little surprising that so much detail is present. Sexual abuse plots on TV usually don’t go much deeper than “rape is bad”, or, in a worst case scenario “statutory rape isn’t bad and doesn’t exist”. It’s also rare you see such an inward look at a victim. Normally, the assault is used as motivation for another character and the victim is more of a plot point. I’m not sure why they decided to tackle such an intense issue on their animated comedy show, but I’m glad they did because boy did they deliver.
Awesome 